Thursday, 16 August 2012

le boyf.

So I have 20 minutes until my internet gets turned off and that will not be enough time to blogspot about Rob. However, for now, I will do what I can, because I feel it only fitting after spending all my spare time with him recently before I go away and don't see him for 10 days to say something, finally, on here about him.

People will criticize me and tell me I don't know what love is, and being only 17 I haven't found 'the one'. But I will tell those people to shut up. Because after a bad past, 3 failed love' attempts and a not so bright near future, he has saved me. I waited 3 years for a guy who cheated on me, who left me and who now thinks it is okay to try and be my friend. So yeah, I do know what love is. I am a writer and a director, I write about love and see love and direct love in films. I know what it is. And now I know what love truly feels like.

I have known him all of...3 months possibly, and I already know he is the one I want to spend my life with. That may seem silly, but I have found my soul mate in him. He is wonderful in every way a guy can be, and he treats me the way I have always wanted to be treated by a guy. He protects me and looks after me and when I have a relapse he is always on the other end of the phone calming me down. I say a lot of things I don't mean, like I mostly speak before I think, but I know around him that doesn't happen. He knows how much I love him. He knows how much I want to forever be with him. He knows how I want to grow old with him.

Because he wants the same with me. And I love him all the more for that.

20 minutes isn't enough to tell you how much this guy means to me, and that is me in his tshirt. Because I asked him to give me one so I could sleep in it at night and smell him on my skin. Yes, that sounds super creepy and I will probably regret posting that, but if I can't have him here then I need something. He is the best thing that has happened to me, and I know no matter what tries to break us apart it won't. We have been through so much together already and we have come out of it stronger.

They say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Well with both of us that is possibly the truest of statements. Because since being with him, I can see a future. Life before him was bleak, and I am not just saying this. It genuinely was. I couldn't see a way out of all the mess I was in, with the smoking and the sleeping around and the being hung up on guys who just couldn't give an arse about me anymore. I couldn't see myself getting to university, and I couldn't see anything else. I was having to live each day as it came because I couldn't plan anything because I genuinely didn't know if I was going to be here.

But now, I can see my life. And it all involves him. And I love him for saving me. I love him for everything he has done for me in such a short space of time. And I know that the future I will have with him will be the best possible one. 

We have so many plans, but of one thing I will be forever certain. I will always love him, I will always be with him, and one day when I am old and look back on my life with him by my side I will know that meeting him and being his will be the best thing that ever happened to me.

And I know you're reading this babe, and I know you know how I feel and that this short blogspot doesn't even begin to cover it. But I love you. I truly love you, from the bottom of my heart. You are my life now. And I love you.


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