Wednesday, 14 May 2014

BEAUTY | my relationship with makeup.

you guys will probably all know i have a weird relationship with makeup. up until about the age of 14/15 i didn't even know what makeup was, and until i was about 16 all i wore was a little concealer, a bit of powder and some mascara, the basic of basic really. since then and discovering youtube fully, being a blogger, sites like instagram and weheartit this last year i have really grown with makeup and i love that. 

since i started wearing makeup properly, at about 16/17 i couldn't leave the house without any on, it was my protection. yes my foundation was too look and my blusher too bright, but i never left the house without it. i am ashamed to say it got the stage where i would sleep with makeup on and just apply more on in the morning, and that has probably had the worst lasting effect on my skin ever. in the past year or so, although i have been experimenting more, trying out loads of different brands and styles i will still wear makeup every day, except now i usually take it off as soon as i walk in the door and moisturise my face. i actually have a pretty good skin routine going on at the moment, but that has only started developing in the last few weeks, before i just deep cleansed and moisturised, now i do everything haha, expect a post on that at some point!

recently i have been having some really bad break outs, and times when i come home, makeup off onesie on and then i have to go out again and so have to do my whole make up routine again. and although i can perfect the 30 minute every day make up look it is still like urgh again?! originally my no make up selfie was going to be a before and after shot, but when i looked at it and then looked at myself in the mirror, the pictures i took actually didn't look too bad, they always say the way we see ourselves in a mirror is different to what is on a picture. and so i posted it a few hours ago on instagram and the response has, i cannot thank you guys enough. the comments on instgram, on my tumblr, the messages i have means the world to me.

(no i am not feeling sorry for myself here however) after being bullied for 6 years it was also a case for me that i didn't want to go out and 'expose' myself like that. i have red undertones, visible veins, spot scarring, bad natural eyebrow game, short stubby eyelashes...i just didn't want to give these people fuel to make me feel even worse. i think that is how the whole not leaving the house without makeup on thing started. none of my friends had seen my without makeup, my boyfriends hadn't, my family barely did, it was a very difficult time for me. after forgetting to put my eyebrows on for a few days or forgetting blusher or having no eyeshadow on...i have decided to TRY my hardest to reduce my every day make up look as much as i can. obviously there is going to be days when i am like IM FABULOUS and be a red headed Sharpay and have a full smokey eye, false eyelashes, bright red lipstick...OTT basically. 

i see so many people on instgram that are so naturally pretty it hurts, and so many people on youtube too, even my 16 year old sister has been blessed with better skin than me, but she has perf cheekbones and oh my god i would love to do her makeup and contour her face...going off there sorry! in these last few weeks i have realised i am only 19, i am still changing and growing and developing (boobs please appear!!) my skin is going to change, my tone is going to change, i will not be an irish albino forever!

so here is my before and after shot, and some of my no make up pictures. please bear in mind this is the first time i have EVER posted an unedited selfie without makeup. please excuse my awkward lopsided face! any i have posted before have always had a filter (or two...or three...) on them so you can't tell, but not this time. as i said in my instagram post - if i can love myself for my curves and sticky out bits and my size 8 feet and being basically 6 foot, why can't i love myself for my natural face?


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