Monday, 20 June 2016

LIFESTYLE | a small catch up

Hello everyone! I know it has been a hot minute since I was on here writing for you, but I just wanted to explain a little as to where I have been and why I haven't been as active recently. I am obviously still on social media a bit so don't forget to follow me on there to keep a bit more up to date, but on here it has been a little harder.

Firstly, as you all know, I am an assistant manager in retail, and as you have already probably begun to see stores are heading in to summer sale and we are no different in my store. Although I was there for sale at christmas this is my first summer sale and it has been different because I am working with a different manager. Unfortunately for myself, my manager is relied on heavily to help in other stores, so I have been doing a lot of the prep and general store running solo (obviously with the help of my supervisor and sales assistants who have all been brilliant) but it has taken a small toll on me, and it is only now that things are starting to really take shape that I am feeling it. A lot more falls on you and you have to be the one to make all the decisions and run the store and do the paperwork and give jobs out and make sure everything is organised and it is making me very tired physically and mentally as well. Do not get me wrong, I really enjoy my job and the responsibilities it comes with, and I know my manager is always on the other end of the phone, but I have found it a little tougher than I thought. It has really highlighted to me how much it takes to be a manager, but it has also helped me learn from it all so it has both good and bad aspects.

Secondly, I am trying to spend most of my spare days off with Ben, as you can probably see from my Instagram. This one is self explanatory - I try to actually spend time with him instead of being sat behind a computer screen typing away.

Thirdly, things have been happening with my flat that has been weighing heavily on me. Things that are out of my control but scary nonetheless. I am obviously renting my property through a landlord instead of estate agent, but due to reasons beyond my control the flat is being sold, or has been I believe. Now, although this should only mean a change of bank details for rent and change of phone numbers for my landlord, it did throw me completely and I flew in to a blind panic as you can imagine. My flat was being sold whilst I was living there. According to people I have spoken to about it, it is quite a common thing, but as this is my first time renting it scared me so much. I didn't know what it meant for me, and although I tidied the flat to make it presentable for viewings I also began to pack, because I didn't know what would happen. Luckily, the people who have looked are investors, so they will buy to rent instead of buy to live. Although things seem to be starting to resolve themselves it has really shone a light on the things that can happen when renting. It also meant a lot of evenings after work I was scrubbing everything down after I had used it and keeping everything in a good order.

Lastly, my head. As many of you know I do suffer with depression and recently it has been quite bad. I have had work to keep my occupied during the day, but it is when I get home that it really sits with me. It has mainly been with the fact I feel very homesick and very lonely. Being alone in this flat for half my day every day has started to get to me, and whenever I see my family (they pop in to see me whenever they are in town but that is only every now and again, and I rarely see my little man) it hits home how homesick I actually am. I stayed over at theirs on Saturday night as I was babysitting and then going out for a Fathers Day meal, and I couldn't help myself crying because it was like nothing had changed and I was living alone - I was living with them. It is a very difficult feeling to describe, and I am sure to a degree uni students can understand being homesick, but they do live with other people and I am here on my own. I am trying to combat it by picking hobbies up again, like knitting or colouring (I know, such a child at heart) but it is going to take a while for my mental state to pick up again.

So that has been my life for the past few weeks. I am determined once everything starts to sort itself out with work that I will run head first back in to blogging but I just needed this break because of everything I have had going on. Thank you to those who have been understanding and who have still viewed my blog, and feel free to follow me on social media for updates on day to day life, but I will make an effort to come back soon. 

Thank you all.
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