Friday, 29 December 2017


This year has come and gone so quickly that it suddenly we are knocking on 2018's door. I have learnt many things this year, not only about my life in general, but also about myself. With 2018 almost here, I wanted to look back on the last year and share some of the most important things I have learnt.


This is possibly the biggest lesson I learnt this year. Mentally this year has not been the best for me, and unfortunately I suffered more bad days than good. And that is okay. It is okay not to be okay. It is perfectly alright to wake up in the morning and know it is going to be a "bad head day" (that is what I call it when I wake up in one of my depressive states.) Sometimes when you are feeling low all you want to do is lay in bed, listen to sad ass songs and do absolutely nothing. And that is fine. The difference with this year was finding the right people to have in my life that can accept that I have bad days and that I am okay with that. I am okay with not being okay all the time, it is something I have accepted, and the people in my life know that and understand that. Do not let anyone tell you that you are weak for having a bad day, because you aren't.


I conquered some fears this year, and I am so proud of myself. I went on a weekend away to London, Bath and Bournemouth, and next year I am hopefully going to Paris (maybe more than once!) and already plan on doing more weekends away. Most recently, I took a weekend away to Bath to stay with someone, and I conquered a massive social fear. I do not like being in new places or new surroundings on my own, it terrifies me. So I got on a train in a new place, took a journey to a new place, got off at a new place and explored part of a new city. And that was huge. I had my music on the whole time to distract me but I conquered the fear. I did it, and that to me is incredible.


I went on a big family holiday to Florida and DisneyWorld Florida this year in April and it reaffirmed in my head how important my family are to me. Living away from home it can be lonely, and I can often lose sight of my family unit, but no matter what I know they are always there. I try and see my mum at least once a week, I try and see Toby as often as I can, and Kitty is always coming over of an evening. I also lost, gained and rediscovered friendships this year and they have become just as important to me. My family and friends are two of the biggest parts of my life, and this year I feel I have grown closer with them all. (Mum, if you're reading this, you know these words will never thank you enough.)


One thing that has certainly changed this year is my attitude towards relationships. This time last year, I was newly single having been in a relationship for the past 4 years and I was learning how to be a "ME" instead of a "WE". This year I joined the dating world and learnt that not everyone is out there to hurt you. I have had two good relationships, two bad endings to relationships and now I am happily in another. One thing I learnt through this year though was to not let anyone else define who I am. I want to always be a "ME" first. That is not to say I am not committed to a relationship, because I am 100%, but I let myself in the past be absorbed by it and I lost myself (and even friends) along the way. I want to enjoy every moment of a relationship and the person I am with, but I cannot lose who I am in the process. I don't need anyone else to define me (although, I do really enjoy waking up next to someone in the morning.)


One thing I learnt from being on the dating scene (and it may be one of the most important things I learnt this year) is to be confident in myself. Not just in my physical appearance but also in my decisions - don't be indecisive! Even though I won't be defined by someone, being told you are beautiful or intellectual or just genuinely a nice person sometimes means the world to someone. I may not always have a good day in my head, but I learnt how to smile again, I learnt how to walk with my head held high, I learnt how to be confident. I gained something so important that I lost a long time ago. 

I want to take this opportunity as well to thank each and every one of you that reads my blog. It genuinely means the world to me. I will never do what other people do, but I am always true to myself on here, and for you all to read my little corner of the internet just gives me that boost I need. So thank you, from the bottom of my heart.

I wish you all the best in the New Year and I hope 2018 is your year!


No comments

Post a comment

© | FNWM | | All rights reserved.
Blogger Template Created by pipdig