Wednesday, 25 April 2018

HELLO

I know, I know. Here I am with another excuse as to why I haven't been posting that much recently. I seem to make these too often and I don't like it.

Truth is, I have been wrapped up in my own head and my own thoughts and as a result I got writers block and I just haven't been able to get out of it. I keep trying to find things to write about, or things I have been loving etc, but it always feels forced when I write it.

I guess what it boils down to is I have felt disheartened recently with this all. I started this little blog as a passion project, a way to ease my creative mind and let it wander from the humdrum of every day life. And it has certainly done that for many years. I have taken this blog "seriously" in the last 2 or 3 years and I have loved it, and changed my name on social media to "findneverlandwithme" to have everything cohesive, but I just felt like why was I bothering? Why bother when other people can make an everyday wage from doing all of this, when I cannot?

I know it may seem silly, but in my over-active brain I felt it wasn't worth it. I was trying to write things and take pictures and do everything I could to make it work and it just didn't feel like "me" anymore. The last two posts I made - SELF LOVE and SELF DOUBT - were the two where I have felt most myself again, being open and honest and truthful and (I hope) helping someone else out there who is struggling too.

I don't really know where this post is going, or what I am trying to say. I work really hard on the content I do get out there because I work a full time job outside of my home, I am up at 6 and don't get home till 6, and so finding the time is sometimes difficult. I feel like I am just making excuses now, and there are all these cliches of you need to work to make your dreams and blah blah blah but when I am exhausted from work making my own dreams is a little difficult.

So, here is me, trying to work through the writers block, trying to feel like this is worth it all. Blogging has changed so much in recent years and it is hard for the little people. I said this year I wanted to work on improving all of this and making more use of my YouTube and doing more videos but none of this seems to have happened. I hope that it will though.

I am also going through some personal things, nothing major to anyone else, but me and my overactive brain like to make mountains out of molehills and make things worse, so that doesn't help with the creativity either. Things change, situations change, people change. And maybe change is good. Maybe these are the changes I need to help get me out of this creative funk I am experiencing.

I also decided to set up a second Instagram account for my nails and nail art - @ameliajoynails - and it has become a little passion project. You guys know I love my nails so I wanted somewhere I could post all the designs I do (because as we know I like to change them frequently!)

Soooooo yeah. You will know when a new post is live because it will be over on my Instagram, and obviously it will be here (ha ha ha) but please know I am still here, I am still trying to write, and I am still trying to be positive in my little world of negative.

Love you all.
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